The first time Kay Bolden traveled solo, it wasn’t her first choice. She wanted to do a three-day canoe trip in West Virginia with her friends. But they all thought it was a crazy idea, so she decided to go it alone. She loved it. Afterward, Bolden was hooked. “If I can do that,” she thought, “I can go wherever I want to go—and I can go by myself.”
Bolden tried a few small solo trips before traveling to Portugal to walk the Camino Portugués, a three-week hike along the coast of Portugal. "I was 55 years old, had never done any distance hiking, was not in any kind of shape for doing it, but I was determined to go," Bolden says. Eight years later, she blogs about her countless solo trips on her website and offers tried-and-true tips on how to master the art of travelling alone.
Get Acclimate to Solitude
Bolden is retired now, but her nonprofit career was hectic—lots of people, lots of talking. Being able to unplug and hike a trail by herself has a calming, almost spiritual effect, and when she returns from traveling alone, she finds herself grounded and feeling confident. “It really helps me hear myself think, clarify what I want to do,” she says.
But all solo travel starts with an adjustment period. At first, not talking to anyone—aside from casual greetings and small talk—feels pretty lonely. “Every time you go, you have to spend that time just kind of listening to yourself,” Bolden says. “I also journal constantly.”
Learn How To Dine Solo
“If you're in big cities, it's not that big of a deal,” says Bolden. “If I know I have to go out at nighttime to eat or whatever, I'll try to do it early.” Instead of sitting at a table by herself, she tries to sit at the bar so she can make casual conversation.
Bolden also tries to be prepared, in case she doesn't feel like going into a restaurant. If she's hiking and passes through a little town, she'll stock up at the market. “If I'm exhausted and I don't feel like going out; I don't feel like getting dressed, I've got fruit, I've got cheese, I've got a bottle of wine somewhere,” she says. “I'll be OK.”
Rely on Yourself
When you do single travel, you have no choice but to solve your own problems, Bolden says. She recalls walking the Camino Portugués and feeling paralyzed with fear, unable to step onto a high bridge spanning the border into Spain.
“I was looking at this bridge that is just massive and so high and it had all this traffic on it. Other people were just walking back and forth like it was no big deal,” she says. After about two hours, she took the first step. “By the time I got to the other side, I was just a crying mess. What are you going to do? You came all this way to walk this path, and what are you going to do? Are you going to get in a car and go to the airport and fly home? Are you? No, I wasn't.”
That same day, she got lost in the woods. It was dark, and her phone was dead—the classic terrible day. She had to figure out where she took a wrong turn. You don't have any choice, Bolden notes, so you solve your own problems. “That's a good lesson that you bring back to your regular life. It works that muscle, that ‘yes, I can’ muscle,” Bolden says. "If you don't put yourself in a situation where you don't have to take any risks, where everything is always safe and the way you want it, there's a whole lot of stuff you're missing.”
Seek the Local Perspective
Not only does Bolden travel solo, but she often travels to places where she does not speak the language. But she doesn't let that stop her from getting the most out of her travels, even if it means asking Spanish farmers about their amazing crops with the help of Google Translate. “It's just a matter of being able to make that first step, to talk to people and to spend your time in the community [and] not as a tourist apart from the community,” she says.
Bolden rarely takes bus tours, preferring local transportation. She gets to know a place by getting lost a few times, wandering around and eating street food. She doesn't expect to make a bunch of new friends, but she does expect to feel what it's like to actually live in a place—at least for a little while.
Pay Attention, Use Common Sense
Before she retired, Bolden worked with young people in gangs. She learned to be aware of her surroundings at all times and to notice when people weren’t acting normally. Now, Bolden isn't afraid when she travels solo. She keeps her money and valuables tucked away, and she doesn't volunteer too much personal information—but she also has a whole lot of fearless fun. “You can't predict that stuff,” Bolden says. “Don't let that stop you from seeing what you want to see and doing what you want to do.”
Take the First Step
What advice does Bolden have for people who want to try solo travel? “Do it! Do it! Get out there. If you're nervous, and especially if you're a woman who's traveling alone and it's your first time and you're nervous about it, then find a group [or travel buddy],” she says. “Or do a short trip first, just a weekend trip by yourself. Pick something you really want to do. If you want to go hiking, then do that. If you want to go shopping, then go to the best city there is for shopping. If you want to eat pastries, then go to Paris . Whatever it is you want to do, go do it.”
